I have gone back to poetry. Oh, let the dark demons in my head rejoice.  Not just poetry, oh no, I also have short stories going too. And, let’s not forget this, I have diagnosed myself with very mild depression. Sometimes I only think, “what’s the point?”.  One of those times was yesterday.

So, gone are the days of mindless worship of the Jonas Brothers. Or the way too happy version of myself. No, I’m finally at my goal. I can be happy, pleasently so. But mostly I’m just a sarcastic cynic.

Oh, and since I can’t do a “add more cut” thingy, I’m abandoning this. I’m going back to Livejournal.

If you want more of me, I’ll be here:

http://mystic-paranoia.livejournal.com/

I have voice lessons in a few hours, and I have two new songs to show her. Normally, I only have one song, but I had this song I was working on for awhile, and I finished it. The same night, I had another idea for a song. I love this whole creativity thing. But I think I may be drying up my writing creativity. Oh well, I don’t have English class until second semester. But I have US History first semester, so it’s all good.

Until we’re not alright,
-jess

Well, I went to the Jonas Brothers Concert in Milwaukee. It was ok.

HAH! AS IF! It was amazing, more than amazing. I need a better word. Compared to the concert, the word “amazing” means less than dirt. It was so amazing. Nick played Black Keys/A little bit longer, and at the end, he put his head on the piano, which was very white and pretty, and the crowd was fairly quiet, so Lindsey and I screamed… AND HE LOOKED RIGHT AT US! That was amazing. A lot of people believe he cried at that point, but I don’t know. Maybe.

All in all, it was a great preformance. They definitely put everyounce of energy into that thing.

I believe that that was enough words to explain it. I only think this because of one thing; there never are enough words for the Jonas Brothers.

Last night, I wrote a song and a half. Because of a certain guy, and a lot of wishful thinking, I completed a song, and then, I started writing a song that is kinda in response to Black Keys. It’s like the girl in the song’s perspective.

Black keys… that song is just… me. I want to know where he got the idea of that girl, cause it sounds so much like me.

more soon.

-jess

Yeah, so the title of my post is so original. So original that Demi Lovato stole it. Hah. I wish. hahaha.

I’m reading a fanfiction titled, “I Know You’ll Never Read This…”. It’s about a girl, who’s life is pretty bad. But she lives with some really nice people-her old her cousin and his son. She decides to journal, but not in a journal. She saves her letters, that are to Nick Jonas, in a folder, and they magically appear in his email, thanks to her deceased parents. I’m not quite through it all yet, but its really good. She-Melissa-is going to a JB concert and Meet & Greet with her little cousin, where, Nick will probably find out who she is. : D I CANT WAIT!

So anyway, in my horribly boring antisocial life, Lindsey has made me do something I’m not quite sure I want to. For you, who ever you is, to understand, I have to take you back exactly three weeks-to the Eight Grade Farewell Dinner… (in a movie here, it would cut to 400 people eating and sitting. hah)

Most of the parents of the almost-graduated eigth graders, and the eigth graders (except for the band) started to find seats and sit down in the gymnasium. People and teachers had come early to decorate the gym. They took out the fold-away wall to reveal the stage on which the band was currently setting up. Almost everyone was dressed up a bit. Lindsey and I were both wearing sundresses, preferring to stay away from the “prom” dresses that some girls were wearing.

The band had received the music for a medley of the Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest, thanks to your’s truly, just a week before.  Mr. Wilcosz (sp?) had let the flutes choose the music that we were going to play for the farewell dinner. We were supposed to do a Pop concert, but because of the H1N1 Virus, it was canceled. So, I was the one who discovered the PotC songs, which I loved and were quite popular. So, the band voted, and we played Pirates of the Caribbean a the farewell dinner.  The gym doesn’t have the best acoustics ever, but it was plausible. We got through it quite well. Laurel and I, the first flutes, played the intro by ourselves, with only the bass drum. Thankfully, we didn’t mess up. I was quite nervous, but I got through it. Personally, I thought the piece went fantastically.

After waiting in line for a long time, we and our parents, got our food. We watched a “surprise” project by the teachers. It wasn’t a surprise for me, because Paige found out about it, and told me. It was a movie comprised of ourr entire eigth grade year. I only regret not getting it. Perhaps my mother can get the DVD, if the Middle School Office still has some.

So yes, there were some pictures of me and my friends, the most embarrassing has to be from the Medieval Faire. Thank gosh I got to wear my own Halloween costume. : D

So all my trouble started at the dance. Everything was fine, Lindsey and I had requested Burnin’ Up, and he played it, thank gosh. It was all fine until the last dance. Of course, it was a slow dance. Lindsey asked Kyle to dance, and he agreed. Now, when I look at the picture of them dancing, it seems like they’re holding each other from an arm’s distance. I find it quite funny. But when she did that, she didn’t know that I liked him. She suspected something was wrong the next day, and I told her in an email at Christina’s house. She felt so guilty. But, when she asked him to dance, it hurt. That was the first time I ever had my heart touched by a boy, even if it wasn’t his fault. I walked out of the dance then. And surprisingly, Sophie noticed my face. She knew. She’s much more perceptive than what I had thought. I almost cried the whole way home, but I forced myself not to. I didn’t even cry when I got home. Apparently, I have good self-control. Kinda.

So that is where this all started. Last night, Lindsey convinced me to talk to Kyle. He wasn’t on FB (facebook) at that time, so she suggested I start a message with him.

I really put myself out there, well, not really, but a lot for me. Heck, starting a conversation with a boy is a lot for me. haha. Yep, that’s me, no experience whatsoever.

Now, I feel really pathetic right now because I had a dream that he replied. The only thing I remember was that his message ended with a “since…” and it was something about not talking to me since the last day of school. Hah. As if that will ever happen.

Lindsey is quite hopeful with the whole “get jessica with kyle” plan that she has. I’m not that hopefull, well, at least not when i’m conscious. It’s been said that the unconscious reveals what the conscious is secretly wishing, hoping, for, and what they do know, but just don’t know it. Obviously, my subconscious is really hopefull. Haha.

I think that’s all I want to say right now.

Oh! About the Lindsey and Kyle dancing, I don’t blame her for asking him, she didn’t know, so I’m fine with that.

until the right turns,

-jess

Ok, so I’ve come to a resolution. As long as Nick nor Miley gets hurt, i’m good.

Cause that would be sad.

Anyway, I looked up “Disney Audition” today, and I found a blog of a guy named Alan Baltes, who has been in the business for almost 25 years. And he has a lot of good advice and tips, and it’s just AMAZING.

That’s all I really got to say today.

-jess

OH! THEY ARE DEFINITELY MAKING A HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL FOUR!

So, it’s been rumored that Nick Jonas and Miley Cyrus are dating again. They did a duet on Lines, Vines and Trying Times called “Before the Storm”. Well, it has been confirmed:

It seems like Joe Jonas may have accidentally outed Nick Jonas’ recently rekindled romance with Miley Cyrus when the brothers — who kick off their tour Saturday — were on “Larry King Live” Thursday night.

When Larry got to talking about who the guys were dating, Joe remained mum on specifics, simply confirming that he does have a girlfriend. As Larry pressed on, wondering if Joe’s lady love, Camilla Belle, is as famous as Nick’s girlfriend, he surprised everyone by saying, “I don’t think anybody is as famous as Miley Cyrus.”

Reps for both artists had not responded to MTV News’ requests for comment at press time

So, Joe confirmed it on Larry King Live, on CNN.

Shista.

I am not too happy about this. At all.

I don’t have anything against Miley in general, but she was a female dog to Nick when they dated before. I think he should be with Selena Gomez. I like her better, but of course, I have no say.

-jess

So, as I said before, I am going to try to explain what I going on in mi vida right now.

I have some friends who don’t really like some of my other friends (i.e. Lindsey). Paige has become exactly like paranoia in the JB’s song “Paranoid”. I noticed this last night. It fits so well. Paige’s opinions are “like a fog that blurs the sane”. See what I mean, EXACTLY RIGHT! (Whoo! Go JB!)

So that is my biggest friendship problem. I think.

Lindsey and I both have been a bit distant to each other. Me with my fair projects, her with… I don’t know.

So that is about it. That’s all the drama in my life at the moment.

I have a pretty nasty cold sore right now. Ugh.

I just wrote a one-shot on JBFFA called Hope. I cried when I wrote it last night.

Oh, I forgot to mention that I write fanfiction-Jonas Brothers mostly, but there is some Twilight. Here’s the crux on Twilight, for me at least. I was entirely wrapped up in it for about 20 months. I don’t have much of a memory of 7th grade because of it. My whole state of mind got the best of me. It was downright frightening.

Thank g-d for Breaking Dawn, because it made me accept that the Twilight Saga was done with. HUZZAH! And Lindsey, because she introduced the Jonas Brothers to me. Yeah, I had heard their music on Disney Channel (which I don’t get anymore… sigh). I had thought that it was good, but never really thought about them.

Now…. I LOVE THEIR MUSIC!

hahah. Tu ves mi punto?

Yeah, so I like spanish-the language, not the class- a lot. So sue me. But you can’t sue me, so HAH!

I’m pretty happy today. : D

Until the brothers jonas,

-jess

This blog is going to be solely about my life. Wow, that sounded really self-centered, eh? (no, I am not Canadian… well, I am, but I live in the USA.) I am going to put down what I really feel about stuff. Be my true self. G-d, that sounded really hokey. (-starts singing the Hokey Pokey.) Sometimes, I seriously think I have ADD. Ok, so not sometimes, but most of the time. Especially when I get the new Jonas Brothers album when there was only two left. TWO!

Anyway…. So I have listened to the whole new album, and I LOVE IT! Especially, when Nick is singing in that “rock-ish” voice. I get shivers. It is just so unlike him! I am so glad that none of the stuff on the album sounds too Disney-ish. I like their older stuff, but not so much because of the disney. Black Keys, WWIII, Before the Storm, and Dont Charge Me For the Crime are awesome. DCMFtC is so good with the rap, and the whole story thing. -shivers- SEE WHAT I MEAN?!?

talk more in a bit, explico mi vida

PEACE
LOVE
JONAS!!!

-jess